my worst doorstep scene ever, of all time

Oh my goodness! I just realized I have a few unfinished, unpublished posts. I think I will share them now.

Yay! I finally have a horrific doorstep scene.... most involve some failed attempt on one's part to kiss the other.... nope not me.

Our second date went okay, other than the fact that, despite my greatest efforts, when he came to pick me up Sydney made sure she was there to answer the door, making for some awkward conversation in the car. We went to a play and when he dropped me off and proceeded to walk me to the door our neighbor down the street pulled her car into the driveway right behind him. She was there to pick up her daughter who was at our house playing with Sydney. Perfect timing! right....? She walked up to the door step where we were standing. What was I to do? I opened the door and told Sydney's friend her mom was there and it was time to go, trying to hurry things along while saying goodnight to my date. I knew it was over when my mom showed up at the door and started chatting it up with said neighbor. And Sydney and her friend took that as a cue to go back down stairs and continue playing. At one point my neighbor said behind half closed door "oh! is she on a date?" while I waited outside trying to figure out how long they were going to take and what I should do and if he could just back out his car around her.... the 5 minutes felt like it turned into eternity waiting for them to finish their relief society meeting. I finally went back inside and told Sydney's friend it was time to leave and helped her find her shoes and her mom took her home....

he never asked me out again. hahahah!

what not to do when online dating

Let's add this to "what not to do when online dating." Take notes guys! (Too bad there are no guys reading this blog. it could come in handy. hehe)

I almost feel bad (maybe in a scared for my life kind of way) for posting this because it has this guy's face, but oh well. hahahah!

why would you include a picture of yourself looking like a scary psycho killer as your main profile photo on a dating website....? I could never go on a date with this guy and not expect to be kidnapped tortured in his basement for a few days and then have my lifeless body dumped in a field somewhere. this photo scares me!
that is all

"Why God spared me I don't know." Sigh... Gag!

Hey! another gem from the online dating world! this is a goodie! almost as if a gift from above for all the world admire.

I can't decide what's worse... that it sounds like this guy got his crap out of a self-help book or that he thinks he's God's gift to the world....

"I have very diverse and wide range of interests and passions. The words “can’t” or “impossible” don’t exist for me.

I love laughing, loving and spending time with those I care about. I enjoy my time alone.

I live my life according to the dictates of my own conscience, values and beliefs and am fiercely independent and resist dogma in all its forms; at the same time I have the ability to get along well with just about anyone and I understand when you deal with individuals the ability to compromise is often crucial.. Life for me is simple. Happiness is a choice. I wake up everyday and make that choice.

While I am a driven person, I do a good job of finding balance between work, family and personal time.

Like most people I have many sides and am a study in contrasts. Some of the traits I have that I give the most weight to are: unselfish, forgiving, kind, funny and thoughtful. I am open-minded and adventurous always willing to try new things.

As a child and young teenager I was able to not only miraculously survive, but become a very compassionate human being as a result of heartbreaking loss, and tremendous individual trials, pain and suffering that no child or adult should ever have to endure. Why God spared me I don't know, but as a result I have always felt a deep responsibility to give back and help people where possible, especially children. I have spent a good portion of my life in that pursuit.

Ultimately I am committed to finding someone who shares my base core values and interests and isn't afraid to open their heart and have a deeply meaningful and passionate relationship. In the mean time I would simply like to get to know some new people and make some valuable lasting friendships--and for the right person we can take it from there."


Worst of all, this is what I imagine my ex-husband's profile would sound like. Both incredibly enlightened godly beings, gifts to this earth from God above. Both sent to this cruel world forced to overcome insurmountable odds with Herculean strength. And still destined to roam this earth among these mere mortals, all the while blessing the lives of all who come into contact with them.

what if he's the one...?

What does it mean if you are just starting to date someone and you think, "what if he's the one?" but not in an excited, "I think he's the one" kinda way, but  more of a "crap! what if he's the one? What if we start dating seriously and I can't find any red flags....?  what if we get along and he wants to marry me...? what if I end up marrying him? maybe I should end it now before it's too late" kinda way.

Let's take a little stroll in my brain and analyze for a moment, shall we!? because it is my most favorite past time, of all time! hehehe

Does this mean I don't really want to be in a relationship? Does this mean I'm not ready for a relationship?
Am I afraid of commitment? Am I messed up?
Am I still hurt and haven't fully let go of the past?
Do I just not like him enough? Am I too picky? Will I ever like someone enough to want to marry them?
What if it means that I won't ever be happy with who I'm dating?
Will I always wonder if there is someone else out there for me?
Does it mean that I am subconsciously being too picky and not allowing myself to like anyone?
 Will I ever date someone I feel right about marrying?
And if I do ever feel right about marrying someone again, will he want to marry me back?
(that is the one question that keeps me up at night, so to speak...)

it's hard to wait around...

Sometimes this is how I feel about getting married.....

Booty Pop

I have no words..... I don't even know what to say, except that I can't believe there is a product for a bigger rounder butt when I've been trying to wish my big ole booty away all these years!!!!!!!! It's almost annoying especially when I think about all the insecurities that I have that revolve around my butt....
It just goes to show the grass is always greener on the other side.

I can't get the video to load from you tube. So watch the commercial here!

oh! and they're having a sale! now if only they could make underwear that makes your butt smaller for me....

Being presumptuous

I just love to share all the stupid crap I do because I do stupid crap all the time. and it's funny.....

This guy added me on facebook a long time ago.  I've never actually met him but we have a lot of common friends. He started chatting with me over facebook one day. He asked me if I would like to go the park and play or go to dinner and a movie, or so I thought......

 I kindly decline with, "That is very nice of you. I am very flattered. I am just not interested, thank you though. :)"
I was proud of myself for having the strength to say no when I knew I wasn't interested. (normally I don't handle things such straight forward grace)

Several days later I realized that he did not ask me out. He merely said, "do you go to the park and play or go to dinner and a movie?"
I completely read his message wrong!

I must think I'm pretty hot shit to presume that every guy that talks to me wants to date me..... hahahahah! I must have seemed like a conceited jerk! hahah!