another crappy online dating profile

It's been a while since I've shared a profile from an online dating site....
here's a good one. ya' all might think it sounds good and sweet enough. but let me pick it apart for you and tell you why it is a HUGE no. :) and you will see why I am too damn picky. :)

The first paragraph was fine but here is where he shoots himself in the foot:
(My interjections are in italics)

I find a girl extremely sexy when a she tries to make me smile or just hugs me (physical touch is one of my 3 love languages). This makes me go to the ends of the earth for her. As a old fashion romantic, I am very loyal and I love to show it right back. I still pratice the old arts of opening doors, walking a woman to her door, and flowers. I am truely amazed when i open a door for my date and she makes a comment about never having this done before. 
ugh! hahahah! when a guy starts talking about some fictional fantasy girl who is always doing sexy things I can just tell that he has some fantasy of what a girl should be and what he is going to get, rather than what he has to offer. I'm not saying a relationship should be all about what a guy does for a girl but what each person can do for each other.  I acknowledge that he mentions how romantic  he is, but he should not be making promises like going to the ends of the earth for her...  Most of the time guys think they are way more romantic than the really are. and in my experience the guys who actually go on about how romantic they are, are not actually romantic at all. (or they are super cheesy and clingy)

I strongly believe in "love languages" and believe that it's not only important to understand them, but come to know your partners VERY well. I am a sucker for a good passionate kiss! I am looking for my princess to rescue from the tower of life. If you find me as a possible prince charming, please drop me a line.
barf! Any girl that is smarter than a box of rocks and has a grasp of reality would see right through his gushing about finding his "princess to rescue from the tower of life." I can't stand it when a guys talk about being a knight in shining armor or how romantic he is. We all know it's not true. 

Lowest of the low in dating

There are rules to dating. I don't care what anyone says there are rules. And within those rules for dating there are rules or steps to follow  when asking someone out. It's not like they are super hard to follow.

Steps to asking someone out on a date:

1. Select the girl you'd like to ask out
2. Call in advance and ask ( if you ask out any later than three days you can hope to get a date but don't expect a girl to be free)
3. Set a date and time
4. Make a plan for what you will do on said date (this one can happen at any point in the asking out process as long as it is decided before you pick her up, and it can even be tentative idea of what you want to do as long as you don't pick her up and then ask her, "So. What do you want to do?")

That's it! easy peasy!

Ask any girl and most of the time she will say she appreciates it when a guy calls to ask you out, rather than sends a text, email, facebook chat etc. And there is another handful of girls who will say the despise when a guy asks them out over text or facebook. And will even turn down a date if it is approached that way.

I agree it is annoying. but I don't get all huffy about it. I understand it can be intimidating to ask someone out but at some point you just have to man up and just do it. I have found in such cases it is best, when someone asks you out over text, to say something like, "I'd love to go out. Give me a call and we can decide when" or something like that. you get the point.

But I have witnessed over the past week, two displays of the lowest of the low in asking for a date. Asking for a date via facebook status. This is different from asking a specific girl over chat. It is posting on your facebook wall or you singles ward's facebook group page that you are looking for a date if anyone is interested.

See examples posted on my singles ward facebook page: 

"So I was invited to a red carpet movie premiere of Richard Dutcher's "Fallen" tonight and was told I should try to find a date. Short notice I know but any girls out there have a nice dress/outfit that they don't get a chance to wear, maybe even an old prom dress, and wouldn't mind going with me, just get a hold of me. Just so you know though this is an opportunity mainly for networking within the film industry more than anything else. There is somewhat of a "wrap party" after the premiere as well, which is the better opportunity for meeting people."

Comment from another guy in the ward: "Ladies, you're idiots if you don't take him up on this offer."

"I'm looking for a date this Friday night. If you like to dance, or are ok with learning, and would like to go on a casual date, message me with your contact info and I'll be in touch. Thanks!"

This was my comment, but then decided to just post it here, rather than start any confrontation or fights on our ward's facebook group page:
"So.... I love you boys... and I admire all the courage it takes to ask girls out. But if it is a DATE you are looking for and it is at all important that you actually find someone to take, what if you think of a girl you'd like to get to know better or someone that you think would enjoy that particular activity and give her a call....? Just saying that way she will feel like you really want her there and you will for sure have a date for that night."

If this happens again.... a guy asking for a date by posting it on his facebook wall, I swear it to you I will post this! And by that point I may not even be so nice about it!

Dating has reached an all time low and I am sad to have just witnessed it. Twice!

Foreign women/single mothers/desperate psychos

In this post about what not to do when online dating, for men, I mentioned don't be bitter or have a "chip on your shoulder" as my mom would put it.
Case in point. Here is what one bitter guy wrote on his profile after canceling his subscription.

(Good to know I fit in with the "Foreign women and desperate psychos"........ see the list of types of women who join dating sites below.)

My membership is up in a couple of days and I've decided not to renew. It was a good experiment but for me the whole online dating thing is a scam. I think it's a great idea for women but not so good for men. The reason why it works so well for females is that men typically outnumber the women in online dating sites. With an oversupply of men, they can have their pick of the litter. Indeed, any female posting a profile to an online dating site usually gets deluged with e-mails from interested men. With so many e-mails and only a finite amount of time to answer them, naturally they will screen in only the best-looking and richest men. I recently found a blog that read: "One man posting a profile said he found that for every four hundred e-mails he sends to women, he will get maybe one or two positive responses back. Not dates, just responses. One response for every four hundred e-mails? Yikes! With results like that, it’s not hard to see that his chances of actually getting a date are pretty slim.

A number of years ago, German researchers found that people have to date a minimum of thirteen people before they find a suitable long-term partner. Let’s assume the prospective suitor I mentioned earlier does get one date for every four hundred e-mails he sends. That’s four hundred times thirteen, or 5,200 e-mails to find a partner! I can’t imagine any man having the kind of time or energy on his hands to carry out such a Herculean task."

In my experience there are a few different types of women who join a dating sites:

A) Stuck-up, snooty women who think they are God’s gift to men. With the tons of e-mail they get from hopeful suitors, they acquire both swelled heads and a wildly unrealistic opinion of their market value in the dating world. Women like this are clearly suffering from what I call ‘Princess Syndrome’. A characteristic symptom of the malady is having a stringent laundry list of ‘requirements’ and ‘standards’ few men could ever hope to meet.

B) Attention junkies/professional daters - sucked in by the endless choice online dating appears to offer, keep looking for the Bigger, Better Deal. Ad nauseam. Scratch a professional dater, and you’ll likely find someone with a serious fear of commitment lurking underneath.

C) Gold Diggers - No explanation required

D) Teases who get off on rejecting men for sport

E) Foreign women/single mothers/desperate psychos.

Bottom line is that it's a bad deal for men but a good deal for women. It was so confusing as to why beautiful women (and yes match.com has some very beautiful women) would feel the need to join a dating site...but not so confusing after examining a, b, & c from above. If any guys are reading this...I would recommend spending your time and cheddar elsewhere.

guide to my heart

You win my heart:

If you can make me laugh or laugh with me enough to make my abs hurt
When you are honest
When you call me sweet things like darling or sweetheart
If you can cook, enjoy cooking or even just enjoy cooking with me
If you can pick me up and play wrestle with me
When you help me change my tire
If you touch my hair or neck when we kiss
When you take me camping or hiking

I am but a simple girl with simple dreams...

Email of the day from match.com:

"Let's spoil you!"

Really?! that's it....?  No "hi. how are you?"  "hi. my name is..." ?! nothing is more insulting than to have someone minimize who I am as a woman. Okay! There are a lot more insulting things. hahahaha! Just being dramatic... but really?!

He may as well have just said, " I know you are a girl, so you must be dumb and superficial and only care about getting stuff and things.... So rather than waste my time typing a real message and to get to know you, I'm just going to play off your materialistic nature by saying 'let's spoil you.' okay? Now swoon...."

No thank you! Go spoil someone else who doesn't have brain. I'm looking for more than someone to spoil me and you didn't make the cut.

why are beards so sexy? It is unexplainable. but they are. wouldn't you agree? not the super long nasty kind but just a bit of scruff is oh so nice to look at....



http://edwardbennett.tumblr.com/post/13856520303

I'm sure in every singles ward there is that one guy... that guy that all the girls love, the guy that is always surrounded by a crowd of girls just hoping and praying he might notice them. Everyone knows who he is.Well there is one in my ward, as in every ward, I'm sure.

He's the "complete package": he is very attractive, nice face and clearly in good shape as pointed out when he talks about the physical training he does, he sings (or plays guitar), he does (insert manly job here, such as mining for gold in Alaska), he is "so spiritual," as noted when he bore his testimony on fast sunday.... etc. well I admit those things do seem pretty exciting.... and manly.... hahaha (don't judge me.)

But the hottie patottie in the ward isn't so hot after talking to him. I've had a few occasions to speak with him under different circumstances and I feel like I know everything about his workout routine, his manly job, his music, and his dating life, as every conversation consists of those same topics. But if you asked him, I don't think he could tell you one thing about me. Not that I'm particularly crushed by it. Just saying I don't think Dale Carnegie's rules on "How to Win Friends and Influence People" apply to hot people. Seems like they can get away with talking about only themselves in every conversation and still get every girl in the ward to swoon.

I don't know if I'm more disappointed in him or all the girls who follow him around like love sick puppies.

Online dating tips for men

This is my first confession of online dating on this blog. Yes I date online. there. I said it. Okay now that that is out of the way....

I think I could write a book about what not to do when online dating...for guys. If I knew what girls shouldn't be doing, maybe the whole online dating thing would have worked for me by now!

There are the obvious turn offs when it comes to viewing ones profile, like having a bad photo or no photo of yourself or little to no text, etc. But I wanted to share some things that are instant turnoffs. I suspect guys think are helping their case, where in fact it is doing the opposite for me.

ooooo! just got a brilliant idea to share examples.... hmmm.... but then I'd have to actually look through a bunch of horrible profiles. And I just don't want to do that! maybe i'll share as I come across them...

What not to do on your profile:

-Shirtless photo, in the bathroom mirror, using your cel phone
-Lots of shirtless photos of yourself from multiple angles
-Starting your introduction with "I'm that guy who..." and then painting this fairy tale picture of a knight in shining armor who will take me away with all of his chivalry.
-Negativity or bitterness towards girls and obviously have a chip on your shoulder (see here)
-Have tons of girls in your photos (perhaps they want to seem appealing to the opposite sex but really you just look like a player)
-Overselling - stating in the first sentence how big your house is and how much money you make, one pic of yourself and 10 of you house, boat, car, big vacation, etc.

This one is short and sweet and simple, really. And it's really not that hard, for hell's sake!

Pick up the phone and call a girl to ask her out. Don't just send a text. I'm not quite sure why guys ask girls out over text.... Also nothing says "you are not worth the effort" like texting that same day asking to hang out that night.  It's like I have nothing better to do than to sit by my phone hoping they will text and ask if I wanna do something in an hour?! And then they act all bent out of shape because I'm not going to drop everything to hang out that night.

It's not like I have some super exciting or extensive social life. But I find ways to fill my time so if a guy really wants to spend time with me then be a man, plan the date and call in advance. Or call and then plan the date. whatever. just call and plan.


Like I said my life isn't super exciting. I guess I am a little annoyed by guys acting like I'm the jerk because I can't drop everything at the last minute or I already have plans on the night they want to go out. And a little advanced notice via a phone call would make me feel like they even put any thought into asking me out.

I went on a date today... seems nice enough... decent...

Can I just say there is something that is so attractive about a man who is decisive? Just sayin!
If you ask me out on a date then at least have something you'd like to do in mind, for hell sake! Don't ask me where I want to eat and then what we should do after. It's not like it has to be anything spectacular or expensive or even especially creative, although if it seems like you did put some thought into it then you get bonus points... Just do something! Take some initiative.... Be a man!

Why:
1)It's just so hard to make those kind of decisions, as a girl, when he is paying for the date. (I know in today's day and age I shouldn't assume a guy is paying... well that's for a later post.)

2)Also, if you ask a girl out and you have something in mind it shows you actually thought about the date before you showed up and that helps make you feel important.

3)And lastly, It's just so much more attractive to be assertive than to be indecisive and expect the girl to step up and make all the decisions. It makes a girl (okay I'm not going to speak for all girls) It makes me wonder if that's how you are with other things in your life.  A real man is assertive, knows what he wants and makes it happen.

How:
1)If you are unsure of what to do, options are good. Give some options for her to choose from.
2)Still can't think of anything?  choose something that she likes to do
3)when in doubt Keep It Simple Stupid. Dinner is still a great date!

Maybe I should start a running list of how to be a man. yep! It's decided. See the categories to the right for my ongoing list.
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