"Why God spared me I don't know." Sigh... Gag!

Hey! another gem from the online dating world! this is a goodie! almost as if a gift from above for all the world admire.

I can't decide what's worse... that it sounds like this guy got his crap out of a self-help book or that he thinks he's God's gift to the world....

"I have very diverse and wide range of interests and passions. The words “can’t” or “impossible” don’t exist for me.

I love laughing, loving and spending time with those I care about. I enjoy my time alone.

I live my life according to the dictates of my own conscience, values and beliefs and am fiercely independent and resist dogma in all its forms; at the same time I have the ability to get along well with just about anyone and I understand when you deal with individuals the ability to compromise is often crucial.. Life for me is simple. Happiness is a choice. I wake up everyday and make that choice.

While I am a driven person, I do a good job of finding balance between work, family and personal time.

Like most people I have many sides and am a study in contrasts. Some of the traits I have that I give the most weight to are: unselfish, forgiving, kind, funny and thoughtful. I am open-minded and adventurous always willing to try new things.

As a child and young teenager I was able to not only miraculously survive, but become a very compassionate human being as a result of heartbreaking loss, and tremendous individual trials, pain and suffering that no child or adult should ever have to endure. Why God spared me I don't know, but as a result I have always felt a deep responsibility to give back and help people where possible, especially children. I have spent a good portion of my life in that pursuit.

Ultimately I am committed to finding someone who shares my base core values and interests and isn't afraid to open their heart and have a deeply meaningful and passionate relationship. In the mean time I would simply like to get to know some new people and make some valuable lasting friendships--and for the right person we can take it from there."


Worst of all, this is what I imagine my ex-husband's profile would sound like. Both incredibly enlightened godly beings, gifts to this earth from God above. Both sent to this cruel world forced to overcome insurmountable odds with Herculean strength. And still destined to roam this earth among these mere mortals, all the while blessing the lives of all who come into contact with them.

what if he's the one...?

What does it mean if you are just starting to date someone and you think, "what if he's the one?" but not in an excited, "I think he's the one" kinda way, but  more of a "crap! what if he's the one? What if we start dating seriously and I can't find any red flags....?  what if we get along and he wants to marry me...? what if I end up marrying him? maybe I should end it now before it's too late" kinda way.

Let's take a little stroll in my brain and analyze for a moment, shall we!? because it is my most favorite past time, of all time! hehehe

Does this mean I don't really want to be in a relationship? Does this mean I'm not ready for a relationship?
Am I afraid of commitment? Am I messed up?
Am I still hurt and haven't fully let go of the past?
Do I just not like him enough? Am I too picky? Will I ever like someone enough to want to marry them?
What if it means that I won't ever be happy with who I'm dating?
Will I always wonder if there is someone else out there for me?
Does it mean that I am subconsciously being too picky and not allowing myself to like anyone?
 Will I ever date someone I feel right about marrying?
And if I do ever feel right about marrying someone again, will he want to marry me back?
(that is the one question that keeps me up at night, so to speak...)

it's hard to wait around...

Sometimes this is how I feel about getting married.....

Booty Pop

I have no words..... I don't even know what to say, except that I can't believe there is a product for a bigger rounder butt when I've been trying to wish my big ole booty away all these years!!!!!!!! It's almost annoying especially when I think about all the insecurities that I have that revolve around my butt....
It just goes to show the grass is always greener on the other side.

I can't get the video to load from you tube. So watch the commercial here!

oh! and they're having a sale! now if only they could make underwear that makes your butt smaller for me....

Being presumptuous

I just love to share all the stupid crap I do because I do stupid crap all the time. and it's funny.....

This guy added me on facebook a long time ago.  I've never actually met him but we have a lot of common friends. He started chatting with me over facebook one day. He asked me if I would like to go the park and play or go to dinner and a movie, or so I thought......

 I kindly decline with, "That is very nice of you. I am very flattered. I am just not interested, thank you though. :)"
I was proud of myself for having the strength to say no when I knew I wasn't interested. (normally I don't handle things such straight forward grace)

Several days later I realized that he did not ask me out. He merely said, "do you go to the park and play or go to dinner and a movie?"
I completely read his message wrong!

I must think I'm pretty hot shit to presume that every guy that talks to me wants to date me..... hahahahah! I must have seemed like a conceited jerk! hahah!

Relationship status: Engaged

When facebook so graciously reminds that another person just got engaged I constantly walk this fine line between being super excited and happy for the engaged person and hating their guts....

The good news it that it's facebook's fault and not the person who changed their relationship status to "engaged" and posted photos of the ring, because you better believe when I get engaged I'm going to post shamelessly about my engagement every day for the ensuing months to come!

with that I shall leave you with an ecard that... well, illustrates my sentiments all too well:

Oh and since I am well past 30 and coming up on 31 I decided to finally change the title heading of this blog from 29 to 30. and maybe next year I will change it to 31. or not..... hahaha!

dating update

I have people ask me a lot who I'm dating, if I'm dating, and how is dating. I don't really care. most singles get annoyed but I am an open book.

So here is a little tidbit of my dating life for ya'll to enjoy if you care to know. It's super exciting and eventful and you won't want to miss it! ;)
 (this is an excerpt from a facebook convo I was having with a friend. forgive the improper use of tense and for the disorganization)

Earlier this summer I met this guy at a party. (let's call him "Ben") We met talked a few times at parties and church and then he left at the beginning of the summer to work and plans on coming back at the end of the summer and when he's finished working.  

Cute guy moves in to Ben's room while he's gone. (let's call him "cute guy". Ben is cute too but this guy is called Cute Guy) Ben and Cute Guy will be roommates when Ben comes back. they have mutual friends/roommates) I've talked to Cute Guy a couple of times. He is super shy according to his friend. And he said he hasn't been on a date for a year. 

I think, "If I could talk to him enough, maybe we could get to know each other and hopefully make it happen."

So I organize movie nights at his house with his other roommate. And I ask if he's going. He goes, we talk here and there over the summer. Nothing happens. 

Ben's birthday shows up on my facebook. i wish him happy birthday on his fb wall and ask when he's coming home. He comments he's home for a week. Then i get an invite to his bday party that is that night. 

I check it out and think. "oh cool. Cute Guy will be there. maybe i'll go get my flirt on and try again to talk to cute guy for the 10th time. it could be good. I think i'll clean my room in the mean time and look for a paper i've been needing from back in my college days at the U." 

I start digging through old stuff. 7pm rolls around. I think i'll go at 8. 8 rolls around. Organizing my gift wrap.... 

"Oh it's almost 8:30. Well what if not many people are there... Cute guy goes to bed early anyways. It did say they were doing a movie in the back yard. Maybe he will still be around. But it seems kinda pointless to try to keep talking to Cute Guy. He's either not interested, too shy or has no desire to try to date me. Either way I sure am throwing away a lot of junk and it feels good."

end of my dating shenanigans