HA! here is an old post I found that I never published. (I have lots...)
how much more blunt must one be...? I don't really like avoiding texts but sometimes it really does take me that long to either talk myself into dating someone or to think of a response that means "no")
Him: "So are you going to let me take you out?"
Me:
(hahaha! :( I wasn't sure how to respond! I was having an internal battle between knowing I didn't like him and trying to be open minded and going out on one date. And I had a busy weekend. I was hanging out with my sister!)
Him: "Hey beautiful how's your day going?"
Me:
Him: "where did you go?"
Me:
(I was still thinking about it...... well it's been two days maybe he'll figure out that I'm not interested?)
Him: "So the world is coming to an end Dec 12th. We should go out before the end of the world."
Me: "Hey. Sorry. Honestly, I've been thinking about it and you seem really nice but I'm just not interested in pursuing a relationship. Sorry"
Him: "Yea what are you interested in pursuing?"
Me:
Him: "Going on a date is just an excuse for me to get to know you... I'm cool with hangout too if you want a friend if you still let me hit on you."
Me:
Him: "Cuddle friends are cool.... you don't want to totally blow me off cuz you'll miss me lol"
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Therapy
My gosh it's been a long time.
update:
I've been dating someone for a few months. he thinks everything is great and actually mentioned the future. I'm confused and wondering what universe he is living in. (I guess i always thought when I found "the one," whatever that means, it would not feel like a roller coaster and would just flow and work....)
I started my art therapy program. I hate school. but I love the idea of my life moving in a different direction and I find the content interesting.
I still have big fears of finding a job. Although, I made a good decision about which school to go to, I am still unsure it is enough as far as securing my finances.
I've decided to start seeing a therapist/counselor for two reasons:
1) the relationship stuff is freaking me out and I am realizing I have A LOT of issues centered around marriage and commitment and love and expectations and self acceptance and trust and change and sex and well pretty much everything
2) it is strongly suggested as part of my program that I go to at least 8 sessions. (based on the list above I think I'll need more... hahaha!)
so the timing seems right.
How do you find and choose a counselor/therapist? the only one I've been to just did an exercise, over the course of 4 visits, where we talked about all the good stuff in my life in an attempt to improve my self esteem and have a positive outlook. Mostly it just made me feel bad for feeling bad. hahaha!
google seems like a good place to start. wish me luck!
update:
I've been dating someone for a few months. he thinks everything is great and actually mentioned the future. I'm confused and wondering what universe he is living in. (I guess i always thought when I found "the one," whatever that means, it would not feel like a roller coaster and would just flow and work....)
I started my art therapy program. I hate school. but I love the idea of my life moving in a different direction and I find the content interesting.
I still have big fears of finding a job. Although, I made a good decision about which school to go to, I am still unsure it is enough as far as securing my finances.
Bad photo but it's me at my first residency
I've decided to start seeing a therapist/counselor for two reasons:
1) the relationship stuff is freaking me out and I am realizing I have A LOT of issues centered around marriage and commitment and love and expectations and self acceptance and trust and change and sex and well pretty much everything
2) it is strongly suggested as part of my program that I go to at least 8 sessions. (based on the list above I think I'll need more... hahaha!)
so the timing seems right.
How do you find and choose a counselor/therapist? the only one I've been to just did an exercise, over the course of 4 visits, where we talked about all the good stuff in my life in an attempt to improve my self esteem and have a positive outlook. Mostly it just made me feel bad for feeling bad. hahaha!
google seems like a good place to start. wish me luck!
Monday, June 17, 2013
A "Real" Single Mom
It seems there are a lot of moms out there whose husbands have to spend a lot of time away from home, usually for work. Or oftentimes, even if one is fortunate enough to have a husband who does not have to travel for work, they work such crazy hours that they rarely see each other during the day.
I can only try to imagine it might feel a little like when my ex husband and I were in school and working and we hardly ever saw or talked to each other, even when we were both home at the same time.
With so many of these women and mom's left home to pull off the day to day tasks alone, I've heard my share of "I'm basically a single mom with hubby gone all the time" and "it's so hard being a single mom while hubby is out of town" or "I may as well be a single parent" or any other version of that.
Honestly, I can't help but think do they really know what it's like....? to be a single mom... to not have a husband and really do it alone.
There was a time (right after my divorce to be exact) where I had decided I had to do it alone. I wanted to do everything alone without help from anyone. I wanted to prove that I didn't need anyone and at the time I needed the security that came with knowing I could do it without anyone's help and that I didn't need to rely on anyone ever again.
Sometimes doing it alone doesn't sound that noble, and exciting anymore....
Sometimes I think it might nice to not have to do it all alone, not because I can't handle it but because maybe it would be nice to just be the good guy once in a while or just have somebody else back me up when the kid doesn't agree with the rules. It would be so nice to know that the weight of all the finances don't fall on my shoulders alone and there is someone else there to pick up the slack. It would be nice to know I don't have to make all the big huge decisions alone and then wonder if I made the wrong choice. Sometimes I think it might be nice to plan vacations with someone and go as a family so I don't have to highjack other people's vacations. It would be fun to have someone to tell about the silly thing our kid did that day. It would be nice to have a husband to come home to sometimes or to have him come home to me... I wonder if it might be nice to have someone there at the end of a crazy stressful day to vent to and know they still love me after I ugly cried...
I'm not saying those mom's don't have their own challenges but maybe they don't know what it's like to be a single mom. And with that maybe I don't know what it's like to not know that I don't have to do it alone.
I can only try to imagine it might feel a little like when my ex husband and I were in school and working and we hardly ever saw or talked to each other, even when we were both home at the same time.
With so many of these women and mom's left home to pull off the day to day tasks alone, I've heard my share of "I'm basically a single mom with hubby gone all the time" and "it's so hard being a single mom while hubby is out of town" or "I may as well be a single parent" or any other version of that.
Honestly, I can't help but think do they really know what it's like....? to be a single mom... to not have a husband and really do it alone.
There was a time (right after my divorce to be exact) where I had decided I had to do it alone. I wanted to do everything alone without help from anyone. I wanted to prove that I didn't need anyone and at the time I needed the security that came with knowing I could do it without anyone's help and that I didn't need to rely on anyone ever again.
Sometimes doing it alone doesn't sound that noble, and exciting anymore....
Sometimes I think it might nice to not have to do it all alone, not because I can't handle it but because maybe it would be nice to just be the good guy once in a while or just have somebody else back me up when the kid doesn't agree with the rules. It would be so nice to know that the weight of all the finances don't fall on my shoulders alone and there is someone else there to pick up the slack. It would be nice to know I don't have to make all the big huge decisions alone and then wonder if I made the wrong choice. Sometimes I think it might be nice to plan vacations with someone and go as a family so I don't have to highjack other people's vacations. It would be fun to have someone to tell about the silly thing our kid did that day. It would be nice to have a husband to come home to sometimes or to have him come home to me... I wonder if it might be nice to have someone there at the end of a crazy stressful day to vent to and know they still love me after I ugly cried...
I'm not saying those mom's don't have their own challenges but maybe they don't know what it's like to be a single mom. And with that maybe I don't know what it's like to not know that I don't have to do it alone.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
my worst doorstep scene ever, of all time
Oh my goodness! I just realized I have a few unfinished, unpublished posts. I think I will share them now.
Yay! I finally have a horrific doorstep scene.... most involve some failed attempt on one's part to kiss the other.... nope not me.
Yay! I finally have a horrific doorstep scene.... most involve some failed attempt on one's part to kiss the other.... nope not me.
Our second date went okay, other than the fact that, despite my greatest efforts, when he came to pick me up Sydney made sure she was there to answer the door, making for some awkward conversation in the car. We went to a play and when he dropped me off and proceeded to walk me to the door our neighbor down the street pulled her car into the driveway right behind him. She was there to pick up her daughter who was at our house playing with Sydney. Perfect timing! right....? She walked up to the door step where we were standing. What was I to do? I opened the door and told Sydney's friend her mom was there and it was time to go, trying to hurry things along while saying goodnight to my date. I knew it was over when my mom showed up at the door and started chatting it up with said neighbor. And Sydney and her friend took that as a cue to go back down stairs and continue playing. At one point my neighbor said behind half closed door "oh! is she on a date?" while I waited outside trying to figure out how long they were going to take and what I should do and if he could just back out his car around her.... the 5 minutes felt like it turned into eternity waiting for them to finish their relief society meeting. I finally went back inside and told Sydney's friend it was time to leave and helped her find her shoes and her mom took her home....
he never asked me out again. hahahah!
he never asked me out again. hahahah!
what not to do when online dating
Let's add this to "what not to do when online dating." Take notes guys! (Too bad there are no guys reading this blog. it could come in handy. hehe)
I almost feel bad (maybe in a scared for my life kind of way) for posting this because it has this guy's face, but oh well. hahahah!
why would you include a picture of yourself looking like a scary psycho killer as your main profile photo on a dating website....? I could never go on a date with this guy and not expect to be kidnapped tortured in his basement for a few days and then have my lifeless body dumped in a field somewhere. this photo scares me!
that is all
I almost feel bad (maybe in a scared for my life kind of way) for posting this because it has this guy's face, but oh well. hahahah!
why would you include a picture of yourself looking like a scary psycho killer as your main profile photo on a dating website....? I could never go on a date with this guy and not expect to be kidnapped tortured in his basement for a few days and then have my lifeless body dumped in a field somewhere. this photo scares me!
that is all
Monday, November 12, 2012
"Why God spared me I don't know." Sigh... Gag!
Hey! another gem from the online dating world! this is a goodie! almost as if a gift from above for all the world admire.
I can't decide what's worse... that it sounds like this guy got his crap out of a self-help book or that he thinks he's God's gift to the world....
"I have very diverse and wide range of interests and passions. The words “can’t” or “impossible” don’t exist for me.
I love laughing, loving and spending time with those I care about. I enjoy my time alone.
I live my life according to the dictates of my own conscience, values and beliefs and am fiercely independent and resist dogma in all its forms; at the same time I have the ability to get along well with just about anyone and I understand when you deal with individuals the ability to compromise is often crucial.. Life for me is simple. Happiness is a choice. I wake up everyday and make that choice.
While I am a driven person, I do a good job of finding balance between work, family and personal time.
Like most people I have many sides and am a study in contrasts. Some of the traits I have that I give the most weight to are: unselfish, forgiving, kind, funny and thoughtful. I am open-minded and adventurous always willing to try new things.
As a child and young teenager I was able to not only miraculously survive, but become a very compassionate human being as a result of heartbreaking loss, and tremendous individual trials, pain and suffering that no child or adult should ever have to endure. Why God spared me I don't know, but as a result I have always felt a deep responsibility to give back and help people where possible, especially children. I have spent a good portion of my life in that pursuit.
Ultimately I am committed to finding someone who shares my base core values and interests and isn't afraid to open their heart and have a deeply meaningful and passionate relationship. In the mean time I would simply like to get to know some new people and make some valuable lasting friendships--and for the right person we can take it from there."
Worst of all, this is what I imagine my ex-husband's profile would sound like. Both incredibly enlightened godly beings, gifts to this earth from God above. Both sent to this cruel world forced to overcome insurmountable odds with Herculean strength. And still destined to roam this earth among these mere mortals, all the while blessing the lives of all who come into contact with them.
I can't decide what's worse... that it sounds like this guy got his crap out of a self-help book or that he thinks he's God's gift to the world....
"I have very diverse and wide range of interests and passions. The words “can’t” or “impossible” don’t exist for me.
I love laughing, loving and spending time with those I care about. I enjoy my time alone.
I live my life according to the dictates of my own conscience, values and beliefs and am fiercely independent and resist dogma in all its forms; at the same time I have the ability to get along well with just about anyone and I understand when you deal with individuals the ability to compromise is often crucial.. Life for me is simple. Happiness is a choice. I wake up everyday and make that choice.
While I am a driven person, I do a good job of finding balance between work, family and personal time.
Like most people I have many sides and am a study in contrasts. Some of the traits I have that I give the most weight to are: unselfish, forgiving, kind, funny and thoughtful. I am open-minded and adventurous always willing to try new things.
As a child and young teenager I was able to not only miraculously survive, but become a very compassionate human being as a result of heartbreaking loss, and tremendous individual trials, pain and suffering that no child or adult should ever have to endure. Why God spared me I don't know, but as a result I have always felt a deep responsibility to give back and help people where possible, especially children. I have spent a good portion of my life in that pursuit.
Ultimately I am committed to finding someone who shares my base core values and interests and isn't afraid to open their heart and have a deeply meaningful and passionate relationship. In the mean time I would simply like to get to know some new people and make some valuable lasting friendships--and for the right person we can take it from there."
Worst of all, this is what I imagine my ex-husband's profile would sound like. Both incredibly enlightened godly beings, gifts to this earth from God above. Both sent to this cruel world forced to overcome insurmountable odds with Herculean strength. And still destined to roam this earth among these mere mortals, all the while blessing the lives of all who come into contact with them.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
what if he's the one...?
What does it mean if you are just starting to date someone and you think, "what if he's the one?" but not in an excited, "I think he's the one" kinda way, but more of a "crap! what if he's the one? What if we start dating seriously and I can't find any red flags....? what if we get along and he wants to marry me...? what if I end up marrying him? maybe I should end it now before it's too late" kinda way.
Let's take a little stroll in my brain and analyze for a moment, shall we!? because it is my most favorite past time, of all time! hehehe
Does this mean I don't really want to be in a relationship? Does this mean I'm not ready for a relationship?
Am I afraid of commitment? Am I messed up?
Am I still hurt and haven't fully let go of the past?
Do I just not like him enough? Am I too picky? Will I ever like someone enough to want to marry them?
What if it means that I won't ever be happy with who I'm dating?
Will I always wonder if there is someone else out there for me?
Does it mean that I am subconsciously being too picky and not allowing myself to like anyone?
Will I ever date someone I feel right about marrying?
And if I do ever feel right about marrying someone again, will he want to marry me back?
(that is the one question that keeps me up at night, so to speak...)
Let's take a little stroll in my brain and analyze for a moment, shall we!? because it is my most favorite past time, of all time! hehehe
Does this mean I don't really want to be in a relationship? Does this mean I'm not ready for a relationship?
Am I afraid of commitment? Am I messed up?
Am I still hurt and haven't fully let go of the past?
Do I just not like him enough? Am I too picky? Will I ever like someone enough to want to marry them?
What if it means that I won't ever be happy with who I'm dating?
Will I always wonder if there is someone else out there for me?
Does it mean that I am subconsciously being too picky and not allowing myself to like anyone?
Will I ever date someone I feel right about marrying?
And if I do ever feel right about marrying someone again, will he want to marry me back?
(that is the one question that keeps me up at night, so to speak...)
Friday, November 9, 2012
Booty Pop
I have no words..... I don't even know what to say, except that I can't believe there is a product for a bigger rounder butt when I've been trying to wish my big ole booty away all these years!!!!!!!! It's almost annoying especially when I think about all the insecurities that I have that revolve around my butt....
It just goes to show the grass is always greener on the other side.
I can't get the video to load from you tube. So watch the commercial here!
oh! and they're having a sale! now if only they could make underwear that makes your butt smaller for me....
It just goes to show the grass is always greener on the other side.
I can't get the video to load from you tube. So watch the commercial here!
oh! and they're having a sale! now if only they could make underwear that makes your butt smaller for me....
Friday, October 19, 2012
Being presumptuous
I just love to share all the stupid crap I do because I do stupid crap all the time. and it's funny.....
This guy added me on facebook a long time ago. I've never actually met him but we have a lot of common friends. He started chatting with me over facebook one day. He asked me if I would like to go the park and play or go to dinner and a movie, or so I thought......
I kindly decline with, "That is very nice of you. I am very flattered. I am just not interested, thank you though. :)"
I was proud of myself for having the strength to say no when I knew I wasn't interested. (normally I don't handle things such straight forward grace)
Several days later I realized that he did not ask me out. He merely said, "do you go to the park and play or go to dinner and a movie?"
I completely read his message wrong!
I must think I'm pretty hot shit to presume that every guy that talks to me wants to date me..... hahahahah! I must have seemed like a conceited jerk! hahah!
Relationship status: Engaged
When facebook so graciously reminds that another person just got engaged I constantly walk this fine line between being super excited and happy for the engaged person and hating their guts....
The good news it that it's facebook's fault and not the person who changed their relationship status to "engaged" and posted photos of the ring, because you better believe when I get engaged I'm going to post shamelessly about my engagement every day for the ensuing months to come!
with that I shall leave you with an ecard that... well, illustrates my sentiments all too well:
Oh and since I am well past 30 and coming up on 31 I decided to finally change the title heading of this blog from 29 to 30. and maybe next year I will change it to 31. or not..... hahaha!
The good news it that it's facebook's fault and not the person who changed their relationship status to "engaged" and posted photos of the ring, because you better believe when I get engaged I'm going to post shamelessly about my engagement every day for the ensuing months to come!
with that I shall leave you with an ecard that... well, illustrates my sentiments all too well:
Oh and since I am well past 30 and coming up on 31 I decided to finally change the title heading of this blog from 29 to 30. and maybe next year I will change it to 31. or not..... hahaha!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
dating update
I have people ask me a lot who I'm dating, if I'm dating, and how is dating. I don't really care. most singles get annoyed but I am an open book.
So here is a little tidbit of my dating life for ya'll to enjoy if you care to know. It's super exciting and eventful and you won't want to miss it! ;)
(this is an excerpt from a facebook convo I was having with a friend. forgive the improper use of tense and for the disorganization)
Earlier this summer I met this guy at a party. (let's call him "Ben") We met talked a few times at parties and church and then he left at the beginning of the summer to work and plans on coming back at the end of the summer and when he's finished working.
Cute guy moves in to Ben's room while he's gone. (let's call him "cute guy". Ben is cute too but this guy is called Cute Guy) Ben and Cute Guy will be roommates when Ben comes back. they have mutual friends/roommates) I've talked to Cute Guy a couple of times. He is super shy according to his friend. And he said he hasn't been on a date for a year.
I think, "If I could talk to him enough, maybe we could get to know each other and hopefully make it happen."
So I organize movie nights at his house with his other roommate. And I ask if he's going. He goes, we talk here and there over the summer. Nothing happens.
Ben's birthday shows up on my facebook. i wish him happy birthday on his fb wall and ask when he's coming home. He comments he's home for a week. Then i get an invite to his bday party that is that night.
I check it out and think. "oh cool. Cute Guy will be there. maybe i'll go get my flirt on and try again to talk to cute guy for the 10th time. it could be good. I think i'll clean my room in the mean time and look for a paper i've been needing from back in my college days at the U."
I start digging through old stuff. 7pm rolls around. I think i'll go at 8. 8 rolls around. Organizing my gift wrap....
"Oh it's almost 8:30. Well what if not many people are there... Cute guy goes to bed early anyways. It did say they were doing a movie in the back yard. Maybe he will still be around. But it seems kinda pointless to try to keep talking to Cute Guy. He's either not interested, too shy or has no desire to try to date me. Either way I sure am throwing away a lot of junk and it feels good."
end of my dating shenanigans
So here is a little tidbit of my dating life for ya'll to enjoy if you care to know. It's super exciting and eventful and you won't want to miss it! ;)
(this is an excerpt from a facebook convo I was having with a friend. forgive the improper use of tense and for the disorganization)
Earlier this summer I met this guy at a party. (let's call him "Ben") We met talked a few times at parties and church and then he left at the beginning of the summer to work and plans on coming back at the end of the summer and when he's finished working.
Cute guy moves in to Ben's room while he's gone. (let's call him "cute guy". Ben is cute too but this guy is called Cute Guy) Ben and Cute Guy will be roommates when Ben comes back. they have mutual friends/roommates) I've talked to Cute Guy a couple of times. He is super shy according to his friend. And he said he hasn't been on a date for a year.
I think, "If I could talk to him enough, maybe we could get to know each other and hopefully make it happen."
So I organize movie nights at his house with his other roommate. And I ask if he's going. He goes, we talk here and there over the summer. Nothing happens.
Ben's birthday shows up on my facebook. i wish him happy birthday on his fb wall and ask when he's coming home. He comments he's home for a week. Then i get an invite to his bday party that is that night.
I check it out and think. "oh cool. Cute Guy will be there. maybe i'll go get my flirt on and try again to talk to cute guy for the 10th time. it could be good. I think i'll clean my room in the mean time and look for a paper i've been needing from back in my college days at the U."
I start digging through old stuff. 7pm rolls around. I think i'll go at 8. 8 rolls around. Organizing my gift wrap....
"Oh it's almost 8:30. Well what if not many people are there... Cute guy goes to bed early anyways. It did say they were doing a movie in the back yard. Maybe he will still be around. But it seems kinda pointless to try to keep talking to Cute Guy. He's either not interested, too shy or has no desire to try to date me. Either way I sure am throwing away a lot of junk and it feels good."
end of my dating shenanigans
Monday, July 30, 2012
Relapse
Hi, my name is Meili and I'm an addict.
I am addicted to staying up late. Not just midnight, but 4 am kinda late. I've struggled with it my whole life and this year I decided enough was enough. I had hit rock bottom. I've always known that it was a problem but I think I was in denial about how bad it was. I realized how badly it was affecting my health and my relationships. So I made getting sleep my one and only New Year's resolution. I can't say I have completely changed my sleep hygiene but I've been doing better. I was doing better.... hahaha! I am being totally melodramatic but it is true. I really do think I am addicted and I relapsed...
I hung out with some new girls in my ward. We went dancing until 1:30 one night, and then played poker until 1:00 the next night.... and well it's been a downward spiral every night from there, until Saturday night. I stayed up until 4:00 am watching the bachelorette. The bachelorette, people! Of all things to stay up so late for. Yes. I've relapsed.... And I need help. An intervention....
Monday, July 9, 2012
Why I am a minimalist
I think I'm kinda cool, calling myself a minimalist.... But funny because I'm not really a real minimalist. I still have a lot of junk. hahaha! but I also get that it is a process and well.... I'm still working on it. I'm still decluttering. Sespite my goal to remove one item a day from my space, I still miss a lot of days. Last night I decided to declutter one drawer which turned into decluttering 5 drawers and some old school work from my undergrad. it's hard throwing away papers that I spent hours and hours on!
But I read this article today and it pretty my describes why i've decided to be a minimalist.
I love decluttering! it makes my heart sing! :)
But I read this article today and it pretty my describes why i've decided to be a minimalist.
you should read it :) just sayin... :) hehe
I love decluttering! it makes my heart sing! :)
Oh! and good news! I cancelled my match.com account. again..... hahahah! how many times have I said that?! hahah! But because I am being more picky about who I spend my precious time dating, I realized that I wasn't going on nearly enough dates to justify it. It feels good. And it feels good to have so many weekends and nights available to do what I really want. I realize I was so worried about not finding someone that I was willing to date anyone in the hopes that I could convince myself that they were that someone. anyays. there is the update on my pathetic dating life. hehe
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
I got a date!
I got a date! I got a date! I got a date, hey hey hey hey!
I sound like the biggest lame-o. hahaha! But, honestly, since I decided not to date guys I don't like.... I haven't been on very many dates lately! Sad right? you should feel sorry for me... ;)
But I am a tiny bit excited. It's been a long time since I've had a date. pretty sure it's been 2 months! But again I'm not counting! hahahaha!
Oh, in case you're wondering... this is a blind date with someone my friend is setting me up with. I'm not sure there is such thing as a "blind date" anymore, since you can pretty much google and facebook stalk anyone you want. (which I take full liberty with) But he seems decent. He's a photographer...... Not sure how I feel about that yet.... hahhahaha!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
another crappy online dating profile
It's been a while since I've shared a profile from an online dating site....
here's a good one. ya' all might think it sounds good and sweet enough. but let me pick it apart for you and tell you why it is a HUGE no. :) and you will see why I am too damn picky. :)
The first paragraph was fine but here is where he shoots himself in the foot:
(My interjections are in italics)
I find a girl extremely sexy when a she tries to make me smile or just hugs me (physical touch is one of my 3 love languages). This makes me go to the ends of the earth for her. As a old fashion romantic, I am very loyal and I love to show it right back. I still pratice the old arts of opening doors, walking a woman to her door, and flowers. I am truely amazed when i open a door for my date and she makes a comment about never having this done before.
ugh! hahahah! when a guy starts talking about some fictional fantasy girl who is always doing sexy things I can just tell that he has some fantasy of what a girl should be and what he is going to get, rather than what he has to offer. I'm not saying a relationship should be all about what a guy does for a girl but what each person can do for each other. I acknowledge that he mentions how romantic he is, but he should not be making promises like going to the ends of the earth for her... Most of the time guys think they are way more romantic than the really are. and in my experience the guys who actually go on about how romantic they are, are not actually romantic at all. (or they are super cheesy and clingy)
I strongly believe in "love languages" and believe that it's not only important to understand them, but come to know your partners VERY well. I am a sucker for a good passionate kiss! I am looking for my princess to rescue from the tower of life. If you find me as a possible prince charming, please drop me a line.
barf! Any girl that is smarter than a box of rocks and has a grasp of reality would see right through his gushing about finding his "princess to rescue from the tower of life." I can't stand it when a guys talk about being a knight in shining armor or how romantic he is. We all know it's not true.
here's a good one. ya' all might think it sounds good and sweet enough. but let me pick it apart for you and tell you why it is a HUGE no. :) and you will see why I am too damn picky. :)
The first paragraph was fine but here is where he shoots himself in the foot:
(My interjections are in italics)
I find a girl extremely sexy when a she tries to make me smile or just hugs me (physical touch is one of my 3 love languages). This makes me go to the ends of the earth for her. As a old fashion romantic, I am very loyal and I love to show it right back. I still pratice the old arts of opening doors, walking a woman to her door, and flowers. I am truely amazed when i open a door for my date and she makes a comment about never having this done before.
ugh! hahahah! when a guy starts talking about some fictional fantasy girl who is always doing sexy things I can just tell that he has some fantasy of what a girl should be and what he is going to get, rather than what he has to offer. I'm not saying a relationship should be all about what a guy does for a girl but what each person can do for each other. I acknowledge that he mentions how romantic he is, but he should not be making promises like going to the ends of the earth for her... Most of the time guys think they are way more romantic than the really are. and in my experience the guys who actually go on about how romantic they are, are not actually romantic at all. (or they are super cheesy and clingy)
I strongly believe in "love languages" and believe that it's not only important to understand them, but come to know your partners VERY well. I am a sucker for a good passionate kiss! I am looking for my princess to rescue from the tower of life. If you find me as a possible prince charming, please drop me a line.
barf! Any girl that is smarter than a box of rocks and has a grasp of reality would see right through his gushing about finding his "princess to rescue from the tower of life." I can't stand it when a guys talk about being a knight in shining armor or how romantic he is. We all know it's not true.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Must find me a gay husband.... And stat!
Apparently it is super hot right now and tres chic.
There are some articles floating around that are getting tons of attention on the interwebs (such as this one found on theweed) and in the LDS community (such as this article in LDSLiving magazine) about mixed orientation marriages. (homosexual man married to a heterosexual woman) And not the kind where he announces after several years of marriage that he is gay, but both husband and wife chose to marry with the full knowledge that he is homosexual. I'm not going to interject my own beliefs or about homosexuality as it is already a main topic of discussion and have nothing new to add to the discussion. Nor am I going to get all political, philosophical etc. All I'm sayin' is, Where do I find me a homosexual husband!?
The two articles mentioned above (and the most popular for the time being) almost paint mixed orientation marriages as ideal. They describe their marriages as more loving and connected than most traditional marriages, for lack of better words. (straight man married to straight woman) They paint this beautiful picture of how there is a deeper emotional connection because the physical lusting and attraction to the other is not there.... because apparently that is bad and gets in the way.... I am assuming the LDS magazine is saying it is advisable or a good idea for homosexual men and women... I'm not sure if this what LDS leaders expect... but these articles and ones similar to them sure paint a perfect picture, much like the one I like to call, the mormon fairy tale, that leads many youth (as I so naively did) to believe that if you get married in the temple you will live happily ever after. I find it very misleading. Marriage is hard enough, why not throw in same sex attraction/ mixed sexual orientation!? It's super cool and noble and popular right now!
Must find me a gay man to marry, as long as he is hot... of course. ;)
Apparently it is super hot right now and tres chic.
There are some articles floating around that are getting tons of attention on the interwebs (such as this one found on theweed) and in the LDS community (such as this article in LDSLiving magazine) about mixed orientation marriages. (homosexual man married to a heterosexual woman) And not the kind where he announces after several years of marriage that he is gay, but both husband and wife chose to marry with the full knowledge that he is homosexual. I'm not going to interject my own beliefs or about homosexuality as it is already a main topic of discussion and have nothing new to add to the discussion. Nor am I going to get all political, philosophical etc. All I'm sayin' is, Where do I find me a homosexual husband!?
The two articles mentioned above (and the most popular for the time being) almost paint mixed orientation marriages as ideal. They describe their marriages as more loving and connected than most traditional marriages, for lack of better words. (straight man married to straight woman) They paint this beautiful picture of how there is a deeper emotional connection because the physical lusting and attraction to the other is not there.... because apparently that is bad and gets in the way.... I am assuming the LDS magazine is saying it is advisable or a good idea for homosexual men and women... I'm not sure if this what LDS leaders expect... but these articles and ones similar to them sure paint a perfect picture, much like the one I like to call, the mormon fairy tale, that leads many youth (as I so naively did) to believe that if you get married in the temple you will live happily ever after. I find it very misleading. Marriage is hard enough, why not throw in same sex attraction/ mixed sexual orientation!? It's super cool and noble and popular right now!
Must find me a gay man to marry, as long as he is hot... of course. ;)
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
a real live "happy" marriage
Because I have been to that hell that is a miserable marriage and divorce and back, it is hard not to observe, dissect and scrutinize other marriages and wonder if they are really happy.
I often catch myself doing this messed up thing where I notice people who are seemingly happy and then I try to figure out what it's really like under their "perfect" life... I try to imagine what it's like when they are home. I try to speculate what they could possibly be unhappy about. I try to imagine what their marriage is like. I look for signs that they are unhappy....
hahahah It's sick and wrong really.... but it is true
I know this! the worst was when I was in the family ward right after I found out about my ex's affair. I would sit in church and try to imagine who in that room was cheating on their spouse, and then who had cheated on their spouse in the past and then I would think about how many years it must have taken the spouse to forgive. I would think about who would stay married and who would get divorced and in how many years.
In all my searching for miserable couples and marriages there are some that I stand out to me as "happy". I'm not talking about the kind where they obviously just got married two years ago and are still madly in love with each other and are still excited about their future family and lives. Nor am I talking about the token older couple who has stayed together for over 30 years. I'm talking about a marriage that is alive and active right now, and despite the hard times they have faced, are facing now and have yet to face, I truly do believe they will stay married and happy. I'm not saying they will never be unhappy. Everyone has feelings of unhappiness at some point. But they will still love each other and choose to stay and be happy.
One relationship I admire is that of my little sister and her husband who have been married 9 years.
I just got back from a tip to visit them and their three little kids. They have no idea how much I watch them hahah! it's really creepy. hehe!
I watched him come home from work and roll around on the floor with the kids. I watched them actually talk to each other and joke with each other and take care of each other. She was caring and sweet and he sat and watched a movie with us. They go camping together.... He would say how hot and gorgeous she is when I teased her about her plumber's crack... After all these years, and three kids he is still in love with her and she is still in love with him. The night before we left, while she got her hair dyed by my mom, I went with my brother in law to the grocery store to buy dr. peppers for us on our drive home. he mentioned in our conversation about my divorce how he could never leave her. He explained how he married up and how much he lucked out. He said she could leave him but if he left her everyone would tell him what an idiot he is for leaving such an amazing woman. (not verbatim but you get the point) And whenever I talk to my sister I can tell she is genuinely happy. She would pick up and move with her husband anywhere he wanted to go, and she does. She assures me that the still disagree, and get frustrated with each other but I know enough to know that's expected.
I often catch myself doing this messed up thing where I notice people who are seemingly happy and then I try to figure out what it's really like under their "perfect" life... I try to imagine what it's like when they are home. I try to speculate what they could possibly be unhappy about. I try to imagine what their marriage is like. I look for signs that they are unhappy....
hahahah It's sick and wrong really.... but it is true
I know this! the worst was when I was in the family ward right after I found out about my ex's affair. I would sit in church and try to imagine who in that room was cheating on their spouse, and then who had cheated on their spouse in the past and then I would think about how many years it must have taken the spouse to forgive. I would think about who would stay married and who would get divorced and in how many years.
In all my searching for miserable couples and marriages there are some that I stand out to me as "happy". I'm not talking about the kind where they obviously just got married two years ago and are still madly in love with each other and are still excited about their future family and lives. Nor am I talking about the token older couple who has stayed together for over 30 years. I'm talking about a marriage that is alive and active right now, and despite the hard times they have faced, are facing now and have yet to face, I truly do believe they will stay married and happy. I'm not saying they will never be unhappy. Everyone has feelings of unhappiness at some point. But they will still love each other and choose to stay and be happy.
One relationship I admire is that of my little sister and her husband who have been married 9 years.
I just got back from a tip to visit them and their three little kids. They have no idea how much I watch them hahah! it's really creepy. hehe!
I watched him come home from work and roll around on the floor with the kids. I watched them actually talk to each other and joke with each other and take care of each other. She was caring and sweet and he sat and watched a movie with us. They go camping together.... He would say how hot and gorgeous she is when I teased her about her plumber's crack... After all these years, and three kids he is still in love with her and she is still in love with him. The night before we left, while she got her hair dyed by my mom, I went with my brother in law to the grocery store to buy dr. peppers for us on our drive home. he mentioned in our conversation about my divorce how he could never leave her. He explained how he married up and how much he lucked out. He said she could leave him but if he left her everyone would tell him what an idiot he is for leaving such an amazing woman. (not verbatim but you get the point) And whenever I talk to my sister I can tell she is genuinely happy. She would pick up and move with her husband anywhere he wanted to go, and she does. She assures me that the still disagree, and get frustrated with each other but I know enough to know that's expected.
I'm a Minimalist
I just decided to become a minimalist this last weekend. Yep! Just like that! If only everything were as easy as just proclaiming it. :)
Will I really start using baking soda to wash my hair and will I throw away all of my shoes until I only have two pairs.... probably not. But I am excited to simplify my life by removing the excess I have surrounded myself with. Excess stuff, excess spending, and excess things to do.
In my search for a good book to read on my trip to California last weekend I found this book, Miss Minimalist, and I am almost finished. And it's not an audiobook! It's that good, that I am actually going to finish it! Not only is it inspiring, it also has tons of easy ways get you started.
A week or two before my trip, my brother had a yard sale and I decided to take some of sydney's old stuff that was in the DI (Deseret Industries) box. With all of her tiny little trinkets and a few of my never used appliances we made like $50. And a few days later feeling completely claustrophobic in my room, I removed all the piles in various corners out into the hall and found a place for them somewhere else. After reading this book, however, I realized I was just moving my junk around and that I have so much more to get rid of.
Before my trip I removed clothes from my closet that I don't wear because they no longer fit, need repair. I have a lovely pile of things from my bedroom. And I have decided to apply one of the tips from the book and choose one item a day to add to that pile.
Day one 5 bottles of nail polish and last night I couldn't fall asleep until I went through the books on the bottom of my book shelf. By the end of the year I will have removed 365+ items of clutter from my space!
I may be addicted or just obsessive compulsive. Diagnosis is still unknown. It feels so exhilarating every time I add something to my donation pile, kind of like that high you get right as you're walking out of a store with three bags of new purchases. You know..... right before the buyer's remorse sets in. However, this way I don't feel the remorse I thought I would after saying adios to some old junk.
Today is my first attempt to recruit Sydney. She loves collecting things from stuffed animals to rocks and bottle lids. (not the cool bottle caps but the plain old plastic lids on any container) She pulls things out of the garbage that I have thrown away and chastises me for rejecting the item as if it has feelings. And then she claims them as her own. Today I offered her $5 for filling a box with items from her room to donate.
With that said, here is a list of things I am still unsure I can apply my minimalism to. I am saving them for last:
My beloved earrings and rings
Dishes (my beautiful dish collection!)
Shoes (I don't have many, but now that I do have a red pair I am almost certain I DO NEED a red pair of shoes)
Photos (there is just something about holding a photographic print that melts my heart, and not to mention hours spent in the darkroom)
If you don't want to spend the .99 cents for the ebook mentioned above here is a handy little blog I found that I'll be reading soon enough. BecomingMinimalist.com and this one too, http://unclutterer.com/
Will I really start using baking soda to wash my hair and will I throw away all of my shoes until I only have two pairs.... probably not. But I am excited to simplify my life by removing the excess I have surrounded myself with. Excess stuff, excess spending, and excess things to do.
In my search for a good book to read on my trip to California last weekend I found this book, Miss Minimalist, and I am almost finished. And it's not an audiobook! It's that good, that I am actually going to finish it! Not only is it inspiring, it also has tons of easy ways get you started.
A week or two before my trip, my brother had a yard sale and I decided to take some of sydney's old stuff that was in the DI (Deseret Industries) box. With all of her tiny little trinkets and a few of my never used appliances we made like $50. And a few days later feeling completely claustrophobic in my room, I removed all the piles in various corners out into the hall and found a place for them somewhere else. After reading this book, however, I realized I was just moving my junk around and that I have so much more to get rid of.
Before my trip I removed clothes from my closet that I don't wear because they no longer fit, need repair. I have a lovely pile of things from my bedroom. And I have decided to apply one of the tips from the book and choose one item a day to add to that pile.
Day one 5 bottles of nail polish and last night I couldn't fall asleep until I went through the books on the bottom of my book shelf. By the end of the year I will have removed 365+ items of clutter from my space!
I may be addicted or just obsessive compulsive. Diagnosis is still unknown. It feels so exhilarating every time I add something to my donation pile, kind of like that high you get right as you're walking out of a store with three bags of new purchases. You know..... right before the buyer's remorse sets in. However, this way I don't feel the remorse I thought I would after saying adios to some old junk.
Today is my first attempt to recruit Sydney. She loves collecting things from stuffed animals to rocks and bottle lids. (not the cool bottle caps but the plain old plastic lids on any container) She pulls things out of the garbage that I have thrown away and chastises me for rejecting the item as if it has feelings. And then she claims them as her own. Today I offered her $5 for filling a box with items from her room to donate.
With that said, here is a list of things I am still unsure I can apply my minimalism to. I am saving them for last:
My beloved earrings and rings
Dishes (my beautiful dish collection!)
Shoes (I don't have many, but now that I do have a red pair I am almost certain I DO NEED a red pair of shoes)
Photos (there is just something about holding a photographic print that melts my heart, and not to mention hours spent in the darkroom)
If you don't want to spend the .99 cents for the ebook mentioned above here is a handy little blog I found that I'll be reading soon enough. BecomingMinimalist.com and this one too, http://unclutterer.com/
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
30 things by 30
I have been terrible at updating my blog!!!! But what's even worse is how terrible I have been at updating my other blog (the photo one) April 8th! April 8th is the last time I updated it! Gahhh!
oh well. hahahah! I have been busy. I think I'm always saying that.... I've been trying to find ways to simplify my life and reduce stress. I got done with the school semester and thought I would be able to breathe... But I got called to the Relief Society Presidency in my ward and haven't been as good at adjusting as probably the other girls in the presidency. I've been busy with that, among other things.
Anyways, somehow I came across this post on a blog. I don't know how i find these things sometimes.... And here is the original list from Glamour "30 things every woman should have and should know by the time she's 30." Hmmm that would be fun to see how I measure up now that I'm 30....
So here we go! I'll mark the ones that I feel like I have or know in blue :)
oh well. hahahah! I have been busy. I think I'm always saying that.... I've been trying to find ways to simplify my life and reduce stress. I got done with the school semester and thought I would be able to breathe... But I got called to the Relief Society Presidency in my ward and haven't been as good at adjusting as probably the other girls in the presidency. I've been busy with that, among other things.
Anyways, somehow I came across this post on a blog. I don't know how i find these things sometimes.... And here is the original list from Glamour "30 things every woman should have and should know by the time she's 30." Hmmm that would be fun to see how I measure up now that I'm 30....
So here we go! I'll mark the ones that I feel like I have or know in blue :)
By 30, you should have …
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. (I don't think my 700 dollar couches from craig'slist count even though they weren't previously owned, I wouldn't consider them "decent")
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. (mine aren't anything spectacular but I'm not picky. they do the job.)
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. :(
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it. (Man this one has been weighing on me heavily since my Human Development Class and since watching my parents deal with their aging bodies. I am glad to say I did put some money away for retirement, no matter how small it is)
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you. (Yes! I LOVE LOVE that I have my own bank account. oh the freedom! And I love it!)
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded. (Mine could use some updating)
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. (I have the best friends and sisters in the whole world!)
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. (I'm counting my camera, camera equipment and car for this one)
13. The belief that you deserve it. (still working on the belief that I deserve other things in my life)
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. (I'm working on this one too. it's been a challenge)
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. (I don't think my 700 dollar couches from craig'slist count even though they weren't previously owned, I wouldn't consider them "decent")
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. (mine aren't anything spectacular but I'm not picky. they do the job.)
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. :(
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it. (Man this one has been weighing on me heavily since my Human Development Class and since watching my parents deal with their aging bodies. I am glad to say I did put some money away for retirement, no matter how small it is)
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you. (Yes! I LOVE LOVE that I have my own bank account. oh the freedom! And I love it!)
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded. (Mine could use some updating)
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. (I have the best friends and sisters in the whole world!)
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. (I'm counting my camera, camera equipment and car for this one)
13. The belief that you deserve it. (still working on the belief that I deserve other things in my life)
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. (I'm working on this one too. it's been a challenge)
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know …
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. (I hope I know this.... correct me if I'm wrong!)
2. How you feel about having kids. (this one changes periodically as I get older)
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. (Boo! this is a work in progress as well hahaha!)
15. Why they say life begins at 30
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. (I hope I know this.... correct me if I'm wrong!)
2. How you feel about having kids. (this one changes periodically as I get older)
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. (Boo! this is a work in progress as well hahaha!)
15. Why they say life begins at 30
Whelp! there you have it! Looks like I have my work cut out for me! Let's revisit this list when I'm 40, shall we!? should be good times :)
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