Real Courage

A few weeks ago I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting. woo! i did it..... jk that's not the point. 

In my testimony I mentioned that I am raising my niece. (keep in mind I attend a singles ward) And a week prior to that I was asked to share an experience where Relief Society has touched my life for a video that would be shown at a stake relief society meeting, in which I shared that I was divorced. boo hoo. what's the big deal right? Well it was a big deal, for me.... for a long time I have tried to keep my two lives separate. 

My life 1) I'm a single 29 year old girl who has a bachelors in fine art and attends a singles ward, and tries to date and be social like a "normal" single person.

My life 2) I'm a single mom who works part time at an art publisher, has been divorced for 4 years and who struggles to be social and tries to make room for dating.

By announcing to the whole ward and stake that I'm divorced and have a child, well, it's really scary and I know it comes with a lot of stigma and judgement, and most of all I know that maybe it even decreases my chances of getting a date. And sometimes people are a little uncomfortable with this info, like they wish they hadn't asked because they don't know what to say.  "oh" *insert awkward silence here* It's okay I'm used to it.

I'm not ready to start bringing sydney along when I hang out with friends but I am ready for people to know the real me and to understand why I seem antisocial and non-committal when it comes to social events and parties. 

Often times we think that by showing certain parts of ourselves, the parts that we don't want others to see, the parts that we are embarrassed about, that we are exposing our weaknesses.  But I don't think it is shows weakness at all. I think it is shows our courage. It takes courage to show all of who we are, to wear our heart on our sleeves. It takes courage to own the parts of ourselves that we don't like. It takes courage and and huge amount of strength the admit "what I'm going through is hard and I need someone to listen and maybe even a hug," or "I feel overwhelmed and I could use help." That takes real courage, real power, real strength. And it's inspiring. I get inspired when someone says "this is who I really am and this is how I really feel" even when it's not a good day, even when it's not the "best" part of who they are. That takes real courage.

They are showing the best part of who they are. STRENGTH and COURAGE.

Photo from: Fierce Inc.