Be blunt. Be very blunt....

 HA! here is an old post I found that I never published. (I have lots...)

how much more blunt must one be...? I don't really like avoiding texts but sometimes it really does take me that long to either talk myself into dating someone or to think of a response that means "no")

Him: "So are you going to let me take you out?"

Me:
(hahaha! :( I wasn't sure how to respond! I was having an internal battle between knowing I didn't like him and trying to be open minded and going out on one date. And I had a busy weekend. I was hanging out with my sister!)

Him: "Hey beautiful how's your day going?"

Me:

Him: "where did you go?"

Me:
(I was still thinking about it...... well it's been two days maybe he'll figure out that I'm not interested?)

Him: "So the world is coming to an end Dec 12th. We should go out before the end of the world."

Me: "Hey. Sorry. Honestly, I've been thinking about it and you seem really nice but I'm just not interested in   pursuing a relationship. Sorry"

Him: "Yea what are you interested in pursuing?"

Me:

Him: "Going on a date is just an excuse for me to get to know you... I'm cool with hangout too if you want a friend if you still let me hit on you."

Me:

Him: "Cuddle friends are cool.... you don't want to totally blow me off cuz you'll miss me lol"

Therapy

My gosh it's been a long time.
update:

I've been dating someone for a few months. he thinks everything is great and actually mentioned the future. I'm confused and wondering what universe he is living in.  (I guess i always thought when I found "the one," whatever that means, it would not feel like a roller coaster and would just flow and work....)

I started my art therapy program. I hate school. but I love the idea of my life moving in a different direction and I find the content interesting.
I still have big fears of finding a job. Although, I made a good decision about which school to go to, I am still unsure it is enough as far as securing my finances.

 Bad photo but it's me at my first residency

I've decided to start seeing a therapist/counselor for two reasons:
1) the relationship stuff is freaking me out and I am realizing I have A LOT of issues centered around marriage and commitment and love and expectations and self acceptance and trust and change and sex and well pretty much everything
2) it is strongly suggested as part of my program that I go to at least 8 sessions. (based on the list above I think I'll need more... hahaha!)

so the timing seems right.
How do you find and choose a counselor/therapist? the only one I've been to just did an exercise, over the course of 4 visits, where we talked about all the good stuff in my life in an attempt to improve my self esteem and have a positive outlook. Mostly it just made me feel bad for feeling bad. hahaha!

google seems like a good place to start. wish me luck!