I got a date!

I got a date! I got a date! I got a date, hey hey hey hey!

I sound like the biggest lame-o. hahaha! But, honestly, since I decided not to date guys I don't like....  I haven't been on very many dates lately! Sad right? you should feel sorry for me... ;)

But I am a tiny bit excited. It's been a long time since I've had a date. pretty sure it's been 2 months! But again I'm not counting! hahahaha!

Oh, in case you're wondering... this is a blind date with someone my friend is setting me up with. I'm not sure there is such thing as a "blind date" anymore, since you can pretty much google and facebook stalk anyone you want. (which I take full liberty with)  But he seems decent. He's a photographer...... Not sure how I feel about that yet.... hahhahaha!

another crappy online dating profile

It's been a while since I've shared a profile from an online dating site....
here's a good one. ya' all might think it sounds good and sweet enough. but let me pick it apart for you and tell you why it is a HUGE no. :) and you will see why I am too damn picky. :)

The first paragraph was fine but here is where he shoots himself in the foot:
(My interjections are in italics)

I find a girl extremely sexy when a she tries to make me smile or just hugs me (physical touch is one of my 3 love languages). This makes me go to the ends of the earth for her. As a old fashion romantic, I am very loyal and I love to show it right back. I still pratice the old arts of opening doors, walking a woman to her door, and flowers. I am truely amazed when i open a door for my date and she makes a comment about never having this done before. 
ugh! hahahah! when a guy starts talking about some fictional fantasy girl who is always doing sexy things I can just tell that he has some fantasy of what a girl should be and what he is going to get, rather than what he has to offer. I'm not saying a relationship should be all about what a guy does for a girl but what each person can do for each other.  I acknowledge that he mentions how romantic  he is, but he should not be making promises like going to the ends of the earth for her...  Most of the time guys think they are way more romantic than the really are. and in my experience the guys who actually go on about how romantic they are, are not actually romantic at all. (or they are super cheesy and clingy)

I strongly believe in "love languages" and believe that it's not only important to understand them, but come to know your partners VERY well. I am a sucker for a good passionate kiss! I am looking for my princess to rescue from the tower of life. If you find me as a possible prince charming, please drop me a line.
barf! Any girl that is smarter than a box of rocks and has a grasp of reality would see right through his gushing about finding his "princess to rescue from the tower of life." I can't stand it when a guys talk about being a knight in shining armor or how romantic he is. We all know it's not true. 

Must find me a gay husband.... And stat!
Apparently it is super hot right now and tres chic.

There are some articles floating around that are getting tons of attention on the interwebs (such as this one found on theweed) and in the LDS community (such as this article in LDSLiving magazine) about mixed orientation marriages. (homosexual man married to a heterosexual woman) And not the kind where he announces after several years of marriage that he is gay, but both husband and wife chose to marry with the full knowledge that he is homosexual. I'm not going to interject my own beliefs or  about homosexuality as it is already a main topic of discussion and have nothing new to add to the discussion. Nor am I going to get all political, philosophical etc. All I'm sayin' is, Where do I find me a homosexual husband!?

The two articles mentioned above (and the most popular for the time being) almost paint mixed orientation marriages as ideal. They describe their marriages as more loving and connected than most traditional marriages, for lack of better words. (straight man married to straight woman) They paint this beautiful picture of how there is a deeper emotional connection because the physical lusting and attraction to the other is not there.... because apparently that is bad and gets in the way.... I am assuming the LDS magazine is saying it is advisable or a good idea for homosexual men and women... I'm not sure if this what LDS leaders expect... but these articles and ones similar to them sure paint a perfect picture, much like the one I like to call, the mormon fairy tale, that leads many youth (as I so naively did) to believe that if you get married in the temple you will live happily ever after. I find it very misleading. Marriage is hard enough, why not throw in same sex attraction/ mixed sexual orientation!? It's super cool and noble and popular right now!

Must find me a gay man to marry, as long as he is hot... of course. ;)

a real live "happy" marriage

Because I have been to that hell that is a miserable marriage and divorce and back, it is hard not to observe, dissect and scrutinize other marriages  and wonder if they are really happy.

I often catch myself doing this messed up thing where I notice people who are seemingly happy and then I try to figure out what it's really like under their "perfect" life...  I try to imagine what it's like when they are home. I try to speculate what they could possibly be unhappy about. I try to imagine what their marriage is like. I look for signs that they are unhappy....

hahahah It's sick and wrong really.... but it is true

I know this! the worst was when I was in the family ward right after I found out about my ex's affair. I would sit in church and try to imagine who in that room was cheating on their spouse, and then who had cheated on their spouse in the past and then I would think about how many years it must have taken the spouse to forgive. I would think about who would stay married and who would get divorced and in how many years.

In all my searching for miserable couples and marriages there are some that I stand out to me as "happy". I'm not talking about the kind where they obviously just got married two years ago and are still madly in love with each other and are still excited about their future family and lives. Nor am I talking about the token older couple who has stayed together for over 30 years. I'm talking about a marriage that is alive and active right now, and despite the hard times they have faced, are facing now and have yet to face, I truly do believe they will stay married and happy. I'm not saying they will never be unhappy. Everyone has feelings of unhappiness at some point. But they will still love each other and choose to stay and be happy.

One relationship I admire is that of my little sister and her husband who have been married 9 years.
I just got back from a tip to visit them and their three little kids. They have no idea how much I watch them hahah! it's really creepy. hehe!

I watched him come home from work and roll around on the floor with the kids. I watched them actually talk to each other and joke with each other and take care of each other. She was caring and sweet and he sat and watched a movie with us. They go camping together.... He would say how hot and gorgeous she is when I teased her about her plumber's crack... After all these years, and three kids he is still in love with her and she is still in love with him. The night before we left, while she got her hair dyed by my mom,  I went with my brother in law to the grocery store to buy dr. peppers for us on our drive home. he mentioned in our conversation about my divorce how he could never leave her. He explained how he married up and how much he lucked out. He said she could leave him but if he left her everyone would tell him what an idiot he is for leaving such an amazing woman. (not verbatim but you get the point) And whenever I talk to my sister I can tell she is genuinely happy. She would pick up and move with her husband anywhere he wanted to go, and she does. She assures me that the still disagree, and get frustrated with each other but I know enough to know that's expected.

I'm a Minimalist

I just decided to become a minimalist this last weekend. Yep! Just like that!  If only everything were as easy as just proclaiming it. :)

Will I really start using baking soda to wash my hair and will I throw away all of my shoes until I only have two pairs.... probably not. But I am excited to simplify my life by removing the excess I have surrounded myself with. Excess stuff, excess spending, and excess things to do.

In my search for a good book to read on my trip to California last weekend I found this book, Miss Minimalist, and I am almost finished. And it's not an audiobook! It's that good, that I am actually going to finish it! Not only is it inspiring, it also has tons of easy ways get you started.

A week or two before my trip, my brother had a yard sale and I decided to take some of sydney's old stuff that was in the DI (Deseret Industries) box. With all of her tiny little trinkets and a few of my never used appliances we made like $50. And a few days later feeling completely claustrophobic in my room, I removed all the piles in various corners out into the hall and found a place for them somewhere else. After reading this book, however, I realized I was just moving my junk around and that I have so much more to get rid of.

Before my trip I removed clothes from my closet that I don't wear because they no longer fit, need repair. I have a lovely pile of things from my bedroom. And I have decided to apply one of the tips from the book and choose one item a day to add to that pile.
Day one 5 bottles of nail polish and last night I couldn't fall asleep until I went through the books on the bottom of my book shelf. By the end of the year I will have removed 365+ items of clutter from my space!

I may be addicted or just obsessive compulsive. Diagnosis is still unknown. It feels so exhilarating every time I add something to my donation pile, kind of like that high you get right as you're walking out of a store with three bags of new purchases. You know..... right before the buyer's remorse sets in. However, this way I don't feel the remorse I thought I would after saying adios to some old junk.

Today is my first attempt to recruit Sydney. She loves collecting things from stuffed animals to rocks and bottle lids. (not the cool bottle caps but the plain old plastic lids on any container) She pulls things out of the garbage that I have thrown away and chastises me for rejecting the item as if it has feelings. And then she claims them as her own.  Today I offered her $5 for filling a box with items from her room to donate.


With that said, here is a list of things I am still unsure I can apply my minimalism to. I am saving them for last:
My beloved earrings and rings
Dishes (my beautiful dish collection!)
Shoes (I don't have many, but now that I do have a red pair I am almost certain I DO NEED a red pair of shoes)
Photos (there is just something about holding a photographic print that melts my heart, and not to mention hours spent in the darkroom)

If you don't want to spend the .99 cents for the ebook mentioned above here is a handy little blog I found that I'll be reading soon enough. BecomingMinimalist.com and this one too, http://unclutterer.com/