Another lesson in letting go of expectation, control and that "I NEED this and I'll die without it" attitude....

shortly after I deleted my ldssingles.com account (my own way of saying "I'm done with online dating!") and some lamenting about my most current dating frustrations, I got an email from match.com. Here's a little history: a long time ago I created a profile on match hoping I would have a different experience with that site. But I never paid for an active account and so I couldn't receive email from other members, just emails from match.com tempting me to actually pay so I could see said emails from other members. I was never ready to commit because it didn't seem like it would be that different. I digress, I got an email from match, "see today's matches" and I opened it, saw a photos of a guy who, according to match, was a perfect match for me..... so I clicked on his profile. And he did seem like a perfect match, and cute except the one sentence at the beginning that said he was taking a break from the website and was seeing someone.....

Boo! well I decided to just send him a "wink" as that is all I could do because I am too cheap to be able to do anything else. hahhahah! love how complicated I make my life because of my cheapness! Hoping maybe in three months or so he would break up with that other girl and check his account, I hit send. It was a long shot in the dark and seemed pretty unlikely so maybe that's why I didn't ever expect to ever  hear from him and never thought much of it after that. I'm not sure what I ever expected to happen in three months when he broke up with that other girl.... It's not like I could open an email if he ever sent me one. Unless he just so happened to look me up.... which he did! on facebook! and he sent me an email.

I didn't send him the wink and fret over whether he would see my pic, or see that I have a kid, or that I am divorced and be repulsed by me. I just did it, thinking that would be so cool since we seem to have a lot in common, and I let it go. I let go of the expectation and worry, and I need this attitude.

side note: he was no longer seeing that girl but hadn't updated his profile because he didn't renew his subscription when it ended. I had to make sure when I first talked to him because it goes against my own integrity to do that to someone else.