Let's be friends..... Can we still be friends....
we've all heard or said it in a break up. breaking up is so hard and the idea of never seeing or talking to that person again at the time seems unbearable.
But I'm not completely convinced this is always such a good idea.... It seems like it would be okay at the time but it always seems to back fire. And it begs the question, how much do I owe an ex? I mean if we are broken up and are no longer together should I feel obligated to tell them when they call and I'm on a date, that I was on a date...? Am I obligated to hang out with them if I don't want to? And when I am dating someone else do I have to tell the ex?
I personally don't think I am obligated to but when it does come out they act all upset that I didn't tell them. What am I supposed to do just be like, "guess what I am dating someone?!" out of the blue? I don't even do that with my family or friends! That just makes me feel like I'm trying to rub it in if I announce it to an ex like it's some kind of job promotion.
It's not like it comes up in conversation often.... "so are you dating anyone?" There is never a good time to tell an ex. So.... I just procrastinate it...... waiting for that "so are you dating anyone?" and it never comes. And I procrastinate it longer until I just break down. so as not to get chewed out later for not saying something sooner, I tell them out of the blue. Awkward.....
I would never be friends with an ex unless we weren't serious AT ALL. I don't mind being friendly with exes if I happen to bump into them - I'm not going to hate them and avoid them at all costs after we break up. But I just think that if you date someone seriously at all the best way to end it is 100%. Every time I tried to be "friends" with an ex we always ended up getting back together and it just makes it really hard to move forward with life. Plus, like you said in your other post, if they still want to be friends it's most likely because they still have feelings and hope things could eventually work out, and then that just makes you feel worse and more guilty if you really do want to be 100% done with it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't think your new dating life would be any of their business, and if you don't mention that you're dating someone they have no right to feel upset about that.
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