Yesterday was my Divorce anniversary. Yep, Folks! It's been four years!
When I was thinking about getting divorced, and vacillating between staying and being a "good wife" and supporting my husband and "working it out," and ending it, calling it quits because I deserved better, and could be happier, I read an article. I must find it. It was from a former bishop who counseled with a woman who was unhappy with her marriage and eventually got divorced. The bishop ran into the woman a few years later and asked how she was doing and if she was happy. She expressed regret, loneliness, and sadness. I'm sure it was intended to make people think about if divorce really was the best idea. Honestly, it put some fear into me. "Is that going to be me?" "Will I regret this and will I be unhappy and lonely forever?"
Whelp, I can assure it is not me and I am not unhappy and lonely! Four years later and I can confidently say I am happy with my decision. I can't even imagine my life if I had stayed married. Actually I can. I tried many times while I was still married and struggling with what my future would be. I pictured myself with five teenage kids and either finding out about my husband's most recent affair or forever suspecting and questioning if he was having one. I imagined finally being fed up with it and getting a divorce after 20 years and trying to re-enter the job force.
I am so grateful for the decision I made, for the inner knowing and divine guidance I received. Most importantly, I am grateful for the feeling of peace that I felt with that decision, because that was my biggest fear. I feared that I wouldn't know what I should do or that I wouldn't recognize the answer to my prayers. I worried that I wouldn't know what my heart wanted.
I know divorce is not for everyone and is not the cure all, or by all means the easy, quitters way out (as I always believed). But for me, in my situation, it was the threshold that I had to cross to experience true peace, connection, and love in my life.
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